Both…and. Goals Achieved and Wanting More.

In 2015 I reached a goal. Communal living had been in my heart for many years and finally the planets aligned and we made it to Higher Ground.

I am thankful for this wonderful co-housing community. I am thankful for all of the inspiring people that live here (everyone!) and make our lives truly rich. I am thankful to have been watching this goal unfurl over the past few years. It has been so affirming, which is the true gold.

But as I explore this new lifestyle, with all the wonders it brings, I still find it lacking. I hate to even say that. It is such an amazing improvement from normal and I’m sure it is just right and quite ideal for many if not most. But I continue to want more overlap in my life with others who are open.

Right now that overlap looks like scheduled play dates, cooking coops, babysitting, regular weekly dinners with friends…And I want more! Knitting nights, music playing nights, dance parties…my Google Calendar – with the appointments of different colors, Troy’s calendar, my calendar, our calendar, the commitment to organization and changing things around when an opportunity or misfortune arises – is insane!

I want to scale it WAY back. I want to allow for inspiration and flow. To some degree, within structure we are free. I want a minimum of that, the back bone. The cooking the cleaning the admin. And beyond that I want friends and family around me so we can flow to whichever activity we are moved to at the time – playing music together or some of us going for a hike while whoever is not interested can oversee the kids. It sounds like a fucking fairy tale. But, it literally WAS the human experience until relatively recently.

Working as a group takes commitment, communication and time. But I believe it is well worth it and ultimately the most healthy way forward for our world. As we have moved away from the tribe we have lost a lot of interpersonal skills and wisdom. But the process of learning that has been one of the most rewarding parts of my life. I highly recommend it.

Beyond the loss in relationships/connection/communication our independent lifestyle is killing us. The stress of the rat race to maintain our private abodes takes a tole on our personal and shared (environmental) health. Yep.

So I think my ideal is this. Tiny tiny private family spaces (just a small bedroom or two and a micro bathroom) connected or close to a grand common house. Due to pooled resources the shared space can be quite luxurious. Obviously there must be a large kitchen and dining space. I also want: office, music room, kids room, craft room, tool shop, theater plus a beautiful garden and space for livestock. I think I would choose pretty rural but I’m not certain.

I think we can start by buying property together. Either with an existing house or not. We buy old trailers to live in temporarily while we build the common and tiny houses of our dreams. Mine will be made of organic materials. Currently in Deschutes county having several tiny houses requires an agriculture business. We can sell eggs at Locavore. Whatever. The kids can run wild plus a little homeschooling.

If you are interested in joining me, please read Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg, then get in touch…

Much love to you and yours in 2016! May you reach your goals whatever they are…


About burlamber

Just another person trying to find my way in the world!
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