As I prepare to move my life across town I want to pause in appreciation. I have a lot of wonderful days and moments in my life. I know I complain a lot on the internet and I am sorry my expression is often so unbalanced. I do have joy and immense gratitude in my life.
I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned. I dearly love the sweet and amazing and inspiring people who I have around me and have crossed paths with. I dearly love the people who have challenged me with envy and hate. And of course I am thankful beyond belief for this soft precious baby girl who gives me kisses and giggles joyfully when I snorffle her neck. My life is truly beautiful, a gift to be sure.
Maybe that is why I have such short patience when something feels wrong. I am getting really close to a place of faith that ultimately it is all good – even the really messed up stuff like Hitler and babies born into unhealthy families. These things break my heart but logically I can see perhaps it is all part of our spiritual evolution.
My meditation and dharma teacher, Valeta, says mindfulness is unbiased. I see that. But likely I have a long way to go to grasp it and to be at peace no matter the circumstances. I want enlightenment but I want it my way – through a happy tribe of loving committed souls who are there to help when I need a shower. But those are not my conditions! And probably if they were I would be pissed about it for some other reason!! Ha!
So I am learning patience. I am having my heart broken open. And we are leaving a beautiful house to live in community. There is much to celebrate! Thank you all dear friends and family for your contribution to it all.